3 Steps to Find the Perfect Church

Finding the right church can feel overwhelming, but it’s not impossible.

I wrote Church Shopping: How to Find a Church and Thrive in Your Faith because I care about helping people connect to the place God has prepared for them. Isolation is unhealthy — yet more and more people struggle to find a church where they feel at home.

If that’s you, don’t lose hope. Here are three steps to finding the perfect church.

1. There’s No Such Thing as a “Perfect” Church

Many people struggle with comparison bias — they want a church that feels just like their old youth group or their amazing college ministry. The reality? That season has passed. No church will perfectly recreate your past experiences.

Instead of chasing an ideal that doesn’t exist, ask yourself: What made that previous church so meaningful? Was it the teaching? The sense of community? The worship? Identifying what mattered most to you will help clarify what you should look for in a new church. Write those things down so you know what is and isn’t a good match.

2. Online Research Speeds Up the Process — But Doesn’t Replace the Visit

Too often, people randomly pick the nearest church, attend once, and walk away disappointed. They didn’t like the preaching or the worship style, and next thing, they’re swearing off church for another six months.

Don’t let that be you.

Take advantage of online resources before visiting in person. Most churches post sermons on YouTube or their website — listen to a message and get a feel for their teaching style, culture, and values. Read their About page. Check out their social media. If a church’s mission and approach don’t align with what you’re looking for, you can save yourself time.

That said, no amount of online research can replace stepping through the doors and experiencing a church firsthand.

3. You Have to Step Out and Take Initiative

Many people expect the church to reach out first. And while some churches are great at welcoming newcomers, others might not immediately recognize that you’re new. That’s why you have to take the first step.

Introduce yourself. Shake someone’s hand. Stay and mingle after the service. Yes, you might encounter some awkward moments, but that’s not a sign to give up. A healthy church reciprocates warmth and connection — but you have to put yourself out there.

In the end, community is worth it. Your spiritual journey is worth it. God has prepared a home for you — you just have to take the first step. Don’t let fear or past disappointments hold you back.

Because the perfect church isn’t the one without flaws. It’s the one where you grow, serve, and find belonging.